As I continue to un-paper my life, there are a few things I am holding on to
without hesitation. My little box of informals is one. I know that in many instances e-thanks are perfectly acceptable, but when I have something to say thank you for,
it goes on an elegant folding note with my name on the front. It has to be short and sweet; a few lines are all that fit. I have a guilty conscience and some baggage about this, so each note I write brings me symbolically that much closer to redemption.
My mother taught me from the time I could hold a crayon that every kind deed/gift
deserved thanks. The five-dollar bills my auntie sent every once in a while,
the birthday checks from grandparents, savings bonds from cousins —
always acknowledged, often on folded notebook paper in soft pencil. Many written downhill until I got better at writing. When I was old enough to appreciate them, we had special personalized stationery made just for this task. Well into my teens I tried to keep it up. I know for a fact that I wrote a thank-you note when I was 14. Maybe one other when I was 16. Then I was on to other things.
When I got married, I changed my name and ordered a new box of informals. I
started the wedding thanks* in earnest. I really did. Then someone made the mistake of saying something about etiquette rules on this subject, and I heard the words
“up to one year.” I got about three-quarters of the way done and then I let it slide.
So I wish to apologize most humbly to everyone who was kind enough to send us wedding gifts. I know we made it especially difficult since we were not the registering kind. You had to get a little creative, and to those who sent the Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog towels and sheets, brilliant! I apologize not only for presenting such a challenge, but also to those who have not yet received a thank-you note. I know there are still a few of you, and I appreciate your patience. It is still on my to-do list, but the arthritis in my writing hand has truly gotten worse over the last thirty years.
*(Back in the day, this was a bride’s-only job. I read recently a popular new custom is for the bride to split this daunting task with the groom. He takes A-F and she takes G-Z, etc. Newlyweds, I wouldn’t take that deal without some very careful analysis – someone is going to get the yucky end of the stick. What if there are 40 Samuelsons
and only nine Flemings?)